The future of these students is in your hands. It’s your job to make sure your school provides everything they may need. But don’t panic, everything you need to know is listed below:

Classes:

There are never enough classes for the students coming to attend your school. This year, you need to tell students that there are only a certain amount of classes. Make sure there are enough classes but don’t tell anyone that. Tell students that they have to pay extra if they want to take these classes, because nothing in life is free.

Five-star Review:

When students are reviewing schools, they always look at the satisfaction levels. You want to make sure that your school looks perfect. It doesn’t have to be perfect in reality, but it needs to look like it’s perfect. When the students come to look at your school, it needs to shine and be notable. It needs to take their breath away. For example, the Taj Mahal, the Neuschwanstein Castle, and Versailles. But only do this when they visit your campus. When they apply to their chosen school, that school needs to look nowhere near as perfect as it did when students came to tour. For example, Beelitz-Heilstätten,  the Palace of Culture ¨Energetik¨, and the Château Miranda

Apply:

Most people think that the application process is only tough for students, but that’s far from the truth. Colleges have the hardest time when applications come flooding in. The toughest part of the job is reading every application letter and trying to figure out who to accept and who to turn down. Accept only those with huge life-changing experiences. Reject all with happy stories.

Study time:

To help students correctly, you must understand the way they speak. For example ´Dawg´ means buddy, ´Lowkey´ means kind of, ´Chopped´ means unattractive, ´Cooked´ means in trouble or doomed, ´Aura´ means cool factor or energy, ´Nonchalant´ means to act cool, ´Tuff´ means impressive, ´Clock it´ means to call out, ´Crash-out´ means to have a mental breakdown, and ´Unc´ refers to someone out of touch with current trends. These are the more important slang words among current students. Saying these words with the correct intention will help you get closer to the students and understand the language that is trending. Phrases like, “can you dig it?”, “crib”, “far out”, ¨totally tubular¨, ¨rad¨, ¨fly¨, ¨props¨, ¨sike¨, ¨scrub¨, and ¨bye felicia¨ will get you canceled – rejected – and you will be cooked. In order to keep up with the youngsters, study and take tests regularly. Work hard to get 100% on the test before school starts in the fall.

Guidance classes:

Guidance classes are one of the most important parts of preparing your school and yourself for the horrors that await. There are two classes every day this upcoming summer. One from 9am – 11am, and one from 2pm – 4pm. You need to take a total of 28 classes for the full amount of assistance.

More Information:

For more information, schedule an appointment with your president, Snoopy Doodle Pikachu, and visit bootytooty/college.com

Recent reactions:

¨This upcoming school year is going to be crazy. We are going to make it worse than last year!¨ said Professor Bill Nye

¨The way these kids talk in this day and age is absolutely ridiculous. But I don’t want to look like an old woman, so I need to start talking like them. I will be their cool dawg!¨ said Professor Sandy Beach.

¨Our colleges don’t look the best on a regular day. But when students come to visit, it’s the one time of the year that the college looks pretty,¨ said Professor Justin Case.