Are you in a toxic relationship?

Rebecca Boozell, Writer

The direct definition of toxic is poisonous. When you are in a toxic relationship whether it’s a romantic one or not, toxicity can even come from family members. When something is toxic for you, it could potentially kill you. Dr. Lillian Glass, a California communication and psychology expert. She coined the term in her 1995 book “Toxic People, defines a toxic relationship as “ any relationship (between people who) don’t support each other, where there’s conflict and one seeks to undermine the other, where there’s competition, where there’s disrespect and lack of cohesiveness.”

Romantic relationships often are put out as needed to be toxic especially in teens now in this generation. Abigail Boozell, an 18 year old said, “I cut him [out] because I deserved more than a snap back….he never made time for me. I was always the one putting in the effort.” This is a good example of a toxic relationship because when you have to put more than half of the energy into the relationship it gets exhausting and can damage your mental state and how you think of yourself. Mental health cases have been on a rise in the past month due to toxic relationships.

“I think in a way we all thrive to have this perfect and effortless relationship with someone who will love and support us through thick and thin, but in certain situations that doesn’t always happen,” said Kassandra Dunham. Kassandra is a 36 year old divorced mother of 4 and has stated that she has been in her fair share of toxic relationships Kassandra said, “ Made me feel like I wasn’t worth anything. This was hard because I already have mental issues.”

Some red flags for if you think you are in a toxic relationship would be like if you feel like you are walking on eggshells. For example if you say something to either a significant other or even a relative that could change their whole mood with the snap of their finger. Another sign you

could possibly look for would be that you are investing more than you are getting out. For example you are putting more time and effort into the relationship that you are receiving or in some cases the investment could be in the form of money, or time.

There are other ways of telling if you are in a toxic relationship. Like if the person in the relationship tends to hold you back, meaning when you have an accomplishment and you are discussing it with the other person they will get jealous and unhappy. Another red flag for when telling if you are in a toxic relationship would be if your self esteem is lower than when you first got into the relationship.